An online friend recently related a little story to me. We'll call her M. She's about my age, and she said that back in grad school when she lived in Arizona she was best friends with this guy we'll call B. And B eventually ended up getting married to someone we'll call W. M is single, by the way.

Anyway, as it turned out, when B got married, W told B that he could no longer be friends with M because W was afraid that M had a thing for B.

Now, right there this makes me not like W very much.

So B and W got married and eventually M moved away to Washington, DC. It was hard for M and B to keep up their friendship due to the long distance and the fact that they had to hide it from W, but somehow they managed. And every now and then when B came to New York City on business, M would drive up to see him.

Well, by and by, on one of these trips, M and B hooked up. It was inevitable if you ask me. So you could say that W was right all along.

Or at least, she was right in predicting what would happen. But I don't think she was justified in trying to keep it from happening.

B loved W and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. But he also loved M, even if he didn't know it at the time. And M loved him.

And now there is a cloud of secrets, mistrust, and resentment over the lives of these people.

I think marriage should be a vow to stand by each other, support each other, etc., but I don't think it should restrict who you can love. Love is not something that can be restrained by contracts. Love does what it wants to do. Love comes and goes as it pleases.

As long as B still comes home to W at the end of the day, is there for her when she needs him, and is a good father to their children, isn't that what really matters?